6. THERE IS ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT THESE THINGS
Tantra says that the erotic act is not limited to sexual intimacy. The whole body may be transformed, not literally of course, into an erogenous area, offering a multitude of sensual experiences that will refine and expand gradually.
Although many men await impatiently the ejaculation, they do not know that they may still experience orgasm without ejaculating and that if they last on the orgasmic plateau for sufficient time, this may propel them into exceptional states of mind, soul, and spirit.
In the absence of this understanding, the erotic game stays in the frustrating limit of several minutes of pleasure, ending up suddenly in a sensation of exhaustion and nostalgia of what just occurred.
It is no wonder that in time some women develop aggressiveness, irritation, and frustration. Tantra develops a tender, larger, and deeper perspective on sexuality.
7. THE EROTIC ACT IS NOT A SIMPLE EXCITATION
Many men wrongfully consider that it is enough to kiss and stimulate a womans breasts and clitoris (in the happy case) in order to arouse her.
Similarly, there are women who kiss and touch the mans penis and expect to obtain an erection from the “Ever-Ready Gentleman” in a matter of minutes. Because of this simplified mentality, sexuality is centred on few “hot areas”.
Nonetheless, Tantra indicates that the whole body, hands, hips, thighs, neck, and feet are capable of unsuspected erotic sensations. Each part of our body may become almost as “hot”, open, and sensitive as the genital area, each with its characteristic.
Tantra indicates that the preparation for the erotic act is not a matter of physical stimulation, but one of mental, emotional, and spiritual harmony.
8. OUR PLEASURE DOES NOT DEPEND ON THE OTHER ALONE
The belief according to which we depend on the other who would be entirely responsible for our erotic fulfilment is also a myth. It is based on the erroneous assumption that the source of our pleasure is not within us, but in the other, and that the pleasure depends and is the result of our lovers actions.
Tantra explains that we alone are responsible for the pleasure we feel and this is the first and very important step in learning the art of ecstasy.
A person who develops the skills to experience orgasmic states even alone and not necessarily through masturbation or sexually related techniques, is spontaneously attractive to other people as well, and consequently is more apt to find a suitable lover to explore together the elevated eroticism.
9. THE TANTRIC VISION DOES NOT REJECT ANYTHING
All experiences belonging to a person are not judged from the point of view of bad or good, but as an opportunity of learning. Learning according to its rules, of course, and these rules include sexual continence and a healthy heterosexual relationship.
Tantra stresses the importance of HOW you do things, not necessarily of WHAT you do. The Tantric vision is unifying, embracing everything, because any circumstances are considered and looked upon as new opportunities of learning and improving.
For this, sexuality is an extraordinary chance of integrating all aspects that define us, including those parts that we usually rejected and hated. This vision also admits that inside each adult there is a natural aspect of child, who may explore any unknown territory, with innocence and spontaneity.
Tantra offers practical answers to fundamental questions: “what is ecstasy, how can one reach ecstasy, how can one reach ecstasy in the present cultural context, and how can it help us in our daily life?”