Although anyone seems to be familiar with the meaning of the term virginity, its initial sense is unknown to most people. In antiquity, this term was not attributed to women who did not have any sexual experiences, but it referred to the social or even psychological state in which a woman is not tied up to a man, she is independent from any man.
Only when marriage, possessiveness, and monogamy became leading rules in our society the fact whether the woman was “untouched”, “pure” and “innocent” or not began to grow in importance.
Proofs of the woman’s virginity were asked, and then began to emerge various habits regarding the loss of virginity. Medically speaking, it appears that many people have been wrong, and many innocent women have had to suffer because if these aberrant preconceived ideas.
Here is what the statistics tell us:
Only 42% of the women are born with a hymen that bleeds, 47% have a very flexible hymen, and 11% have such a thin hymen that it may break at normal movements of the body. Under these circumstances, can the hymen still be such a strict criteria as it has been wrongfully considered for centuries?
For a long time, virginity was considered as a state that should be preserved for as long as possible, being guarded as a precious treasure that needed to be adjudged to the most passionate and perhaps loving of all the competitors.
The mothers, grandmothers and “mademoiselles” of the so-called cultured environments had a saying: “for a woman to lose her virtue is worse than losing her neck”. Even if the words changed, the mentality has remained the same.
Especially for women, the importance of preserving their “virtue” was a taboo subject, in the conditions when men were allowed, even encouraged to lose their virginity, and they were admired, even celebrated on the occasion of this event.
Any man playing the role of a Don Juan in the daily life is regarded with great admiration and considered an intelligent “lady-killer”, of whose virtue nobody cares anymore.
Moreover, his affairs are considered as funny and amusing, actions that test his virility, exemplifying his capacity of controlling the feminine nature.
However, these days things are a bit different, and this is clear, because a great part of the “traditional” vales on feminine “virtue” have changed.
Nowadays nobody needs to steal any body’s “virtue”, moreover, preserving it is considered a kind of old, obsolete capital. Men and women are equally free to lose their virginity whenever they want, and with whomever they chose.
Nonetheless, the loss of virginity remains a crucial moment in each of our lives. Undoubtedly, even today the loss of virginity may be just as traumatic as 50 years ago.
Because it is sometimes confuse, other times exciting, or even frightening, it represents at the same time the passage to adulthood.
However, sometimes this passage is caused either by a desire of rebellion,or by curiosity, other times by a strong sexual drive, and unfortunately more rarely by love.
THE LOSS OF VIRGINITY MAY MARK THE FUTURE OF THE SEXUAL LIFE
Is this a common experience? Is it caused by a usual necessity? How does a person prepare for this important chapter in their lives? Most people are not aware of the great impact this experience has on the sexual life of the young adult.
The moment in which the virginity is lost may radically and definitely mark the future sexual live of a person. Therefore, each of us should prepare before making this big step.
Here is what Dan recalls:
“I was at a party and I was pretty excited by the girl I was dancing with. We used to study and hang out together for more than six months. We went up into the bedroom and began kissing. You know how things go from one into another in those times. We began to caress each other everywhere. Although we both were so scared, we were at the same time too excited to stop.”
Did the first erotic experience offer this young man everything he wanted, everything he expected of it?
“It was all so fast, we were so afraid that someone might show up through the bedroom door, that I ejaculated almost instantly.” Did his girlfriend get to have an orgasm? “I frankly do not know. I hope she did.” This is one way of losing your virginity. Not the most desirable, indeed.
However, there are also pleasant instances as the one below: Jenny, a young woman of 18: “I gave myself to my lover when I was 15. We were on a trip, in the mountains. We had been together for 2 years, he was also 15 and we were so much in love with one another. The “event” was sweet and intimate and I really felt it was a step forward in my erotic life.”
Mary, 29 confesses: “Although I had begun to stimulate myself from the age of 12, I still haven’t learned how to let my body go with its desires, with its instincts.
I could not feel the savory pleasure that I now experience every time. Lucky me, my lover was older and more experienced than me, so he knew exactly what and how to do it.
He also had a great sense of humor and knew how to make me feel at ease under any circumstances, so I was not inhibited. I was a bit nervous, as anyone should be, but things were under control and his help and caring were most welcomed and appreciated.”
Most women chose for their first sexual “adventure” older, more experienced lovers. The men go for the same qualities, choosing older women, sometimes even their mothers’ friends, their bosses’ wives, their teachers.
20 % OF THE WOMEN HIDE FROM THEIR LOVERS THE FACT THAT THEY WERE VIRGINS
A survey performed on the disputed theme of virginity indicate that not less than 20% of the women have hid this fact from their lovers. Well, this percentage is much higher in the case of men: 50%!
This fact was explained before: the preconceived idea that a man’s virginity is not considered a “prise” as is the case of women; men are supposed to have erotic experience from an early age.
Most people who answered this survey have stated that their first sexual experience took place in a car, in a friend’s house, in a cabin, outdoors, in the green grass.
Only one person confessed it happened in an elevator (how original!). A boy chose an alley in the park, and another has gained his manhood after a tough “fight” on hid girlfriend’s kitchen table.
Most people have reported that the decision was mutual, and 25% of the women confessed they had been talked into doing it by their lovers.
However, this is a big surprise: 33% of the women told that they chose their first lover on the basis of love. Another important reason for getting “there” was claimed to be the curiosity, especially among men.
A striking fact is the following: only very few women based their choice on physical demeanor, as compared to the great majority of men who were actually driven by this aspect.
The problem of virginity certainly appears at least once in every woman’s life. We say that because there are women who sometimes recourse to doctors to “regain” their virginity, out of very personal reasons.
Was your first erotic experience successful? Was it as you wanted it to be? Or was it something transient, without importance, to which you wouldn’t look back?