The passionate embrace between a man and a woman, captured in so many movies, in which the woman is instantly lubricated, and immediately satisfied after few minutes of “lovemaking” might make one laugh, if it werent for the fact that this way of looking at things actually influences lots of people, who imitate this completely non-realistic “method” of making love.
The pornographic movies are focused on the unnatural “implantation” of the ma into the womans body, suggesting masturbation rather than the harmony of the
subtle and profound sensations between the man and the woman, characteristic to the authentic lovemaking.
The fact that the western men ejaculate so soon in the pornographic movies should not come as a surprise.
A study of Mr. Kinsey, sexologist, revealed the fact that 80% of the subjects ejaculated within 2 minutes from the actual penetration.
Both men and women in the West are lost in this fast intercourse. Hartman
and Fithian, working in this same area as specialists, indicated the fact that this fast sexual act does not have a duration sufficient for the natural chemical substances that usually accompany touch and excitation to be released in the blood, cutting thus off the feeling of well-being that accompanies lovemaking.
This is why the control of the sexual energy must be a priority for each of us. Once a man manages to practice sexual continence, he will be able to satisfy his lover regardless how much “help” she needs to reach the orgasm.
Nonetheless, once you learned to satisfy your lover, the first thing you need to do is to give up your selfishness.
It is not you who offer her an orgasm. Do not try to be the best lover she
Men usually get so obsessed with sexual achievements and performances, that they forget the real purpose of lovemaking, the deep union with your loved one.
Keep in mind that the best lovers of all times were completely relaxed and aware of what is going on, both within themselves and within their lovers.
A highly important aspect that needs to be mentioned is that it is easier to learn the sexual continence in a stable couple, with a woman with whom you have an emotional bond and a great physical match.
The sexual continence is only one of the many treasures that you will discover on the Tantric path.