The essence of the Tantric path begins with the transfiguration. In other words, you are truly on this path only then when your vision on someone else is changed for the better through transfiguration.
For instance, if a so-called yogi makes love to a woman, he respects Brahmacharya, he transmutes the sexual energy and sublimates it, yet he is not capable of seeing in his lover more than a regular woman, then he does not practice Tantra in the true, real sense of this teaching.
Only then when he is capable to see in his lover, the woman he makes love to, the cosmic ocean of primordial energy, and when this is not just his imagination, but an experienced reality, when he feels in her all the powers of the universe manifested through that body of a woman, this is the beginning of the Tantric path.
This does not mean that this is where it ends, as well. This beginning has also a sequel, and on the peaks of this Tantric system there are very high meditations on the essential aspects of the Divine.
Consequently, the transfiguration is a very important aspect, and its absence leads to a very strange thing, which some people may have noticed.
Although they go sincerely on a yogic path, although they honestly try to practice Tantra, they have various obstacles that hinder them from reaching the truly divine state they should experience shortly if the practice is correct.
For instance, they have to deal with stupid, limiting states of possessiveness.
And this occurs because they forget the finality of the Tantric path, a path that sets one free, not in chains.
Of course that in the context of a relationship freedom does not equal indifference to the others actions, or feelings, but it means not depending on the other.
You can have a very fine and fulfilling relationship to someone, you can offer them all your love and devotion, without being “in chains”, indifferent or dependant.
Paradoxically as this may sound to some people, this path of freedom has this effect of binding and “incarcerating” some persons, only because they are not aware of the fact that their practice is not correct.
THE SUBTLE COMMUNICATION HELPS US BEAR MORE EASILY THE PHYSICAL SEPARATION
In other words, to use Rajneeshs own words – the steps are lovemaking, love, prayer. What does really happen during these steps?
The person seeks unity, seeks to escape his or her own limitations and if you will, on this path the transcendence is possible with the help of another person, with the help of your beloved.
In the beginning, the closeness and the attraction are a first desire of coming out from the boundaries of ones limitations. Why? Because one cannot truly get out of oneself, physically.
This escape in the sexual union is nonetheless short-lived. Therefore, only when one reaches his or her lovers soul, a spiritual communion, only then occurs a first escape through the soul that perceives another soul.
This is the moment of a first de-conditioning, because this is when you can become independent from your lovers body.
Why? Because at this time you are already in contact with your lovers soul and now you can stand physical separation.
Two people who love each other sexually will not be able to stand physical separation, because they did not manage to get out of their bodies and the physical separation leaves them simply alone.
However, if two lovers have surpassed this level and have reached the level of spiritual love, they can stay separated for long periods of time, because they will be still spiritually united.