A sine-qua-non condition in finding a lover to whom you can truly relate from the spiritual, intellectual, sexual, and emotional points of view is knowing your own qualities and having confidence in them.
However, before you can develop a genuine self-esteem you must first become aware and eliminate the negative behavioristic patterns formed by your past experiences from this life or from your previous lives and replace them with positive ones.
Such negative patterns of thought and behavior often originate in unhappy childhood experiences, broken relationships, and unfulfilled hopes and desires. These experiences are a heavy burden, holding us back in our attempts to love and be loved. Nonetheless, despite this fact, most often people are totally unaware of the mental burden they carry around.
The human mind resembles an iceberg because the mental processes we are fully aware of play a small part in the development of our psychological life. The unconscious force lying below the line of our awareness has the most important influence on our behavior patterns, on our self-image and on our ability to love and accept the love that comes to us.
The negative patterns of thought established in our unconscious mind usually lower our self-esteem and hinder our attempts to form lasting relationships. Daily exercises help us get in touch with our unconscious selves and fix the damage caused to our sense of self-worth.
Such exercises are based on meditation and breathing techniques that help us be at peace with ourselves, because this is the only way to be at peace with the rest of the world.
The demands we have to face at work, as well as those of our friends, relatives, etc. to which we may also add the international conflicts we hear and see about on the news every day disturb our inner peace.
Therefore, it is vital for our mental balance and even mental health that we try to save some time for quiet meditation and contemplation each day.
In the beginning, you have to cut yourself completely from the turmoil and rush of the world until you will be able to completely regain your physical and emotional tranquility.
After this you return to your daily duties with a sense of refreshment, feeling revitalized on all the levels of your being, from body to mind and soul. The first step is to learn the correct breathing techniques because a correct breathing brings more oxygen to the brain, recharging your batteries when tired and soothing you when anxious.
Do not force your breathing. Inhale and exhale freely through your nose, allowing the air to flow through your abdomen and through your entire body. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. You may combine the breathing techniques with meditation, so that your inner peace is complete.
Look in your house and find a quiet place in which you may meditate daily for 30 minutes. Make this meditation a daily routine. You may increase the magic, mystical atmosphere by closing the curtains, dimming the lights and burning some candles.
Make sure you have a straight-backed chair in the room, so that your spine will be upright and straight, or you may sit cross-legged on the floor. Take a few minutes to relax and then start to breathe regularly.
Clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on your breath. Relax each part of your body gently, with every exhalation, beginning with your feet. See also our article “RELAXATION”.
By developing these meditation techniques, you will be able to get in touch with your innermost mental processes, and prepare your psyche be more open to the next stage in your program of self-improvement.