Mars’s position in a certain zodiacal sign can tell us important things about the manner in which a particular human being uses to act, the type of will (s)he manifests and what gives her/him a dynamic, active disposition.
In a man’s natal chart, Mars tells very much about his masculinity, especially from an erotic point of view, about the way he acts as a lover, the way he likes to make love, as well as the degree to which he can control his basic instincts and his sexual potential.
In a woman’s natal chart, Mars’s position shows the type of man who sexually attracts her as well as the degree to which she become aware of her inner masculine side (animus).
MARS IN ARIES
This position is very favorable to Martian energy, Aries representing Mars’s daily house. The human beings who presents this position have a great amount of energy, which they manifest with high intensity, being extremely dynamic and active, endowed with a strong will and efficiency, especially in realizing physical activities, manifesting preferences for sports like athletics, box, bodybuilding, motor races, car races, football, etc.
They have a lot of courage and they like to risk, to live at highest intensity, which can give the others the impression that they are tireless.
The men who present this position are very fiery, always in action, impulsive and sometimes tending to become aggressive if constrained not to manifest their energy. They like to get involved in love affairs, not so much for pleasure as for the sake of living intensely.
Generally they are very masculine, both as attitude and as physical structure, often having a strong and muscular body.
When first meeting someone they tend to act immediately in a non-allusive way, having the courage to overtly express their intentions. They are also very focused upon the present moment and live very intensely when making love.
Because of this extreme intensity, they can appear sometimes a little bit aggressive and less refined, subtlety and tenderness being not their familiar qualities. In spite of these flaws, they are sincere in their feelings.
They are highly appreciated about the women who prefer the athletic type of man, a man who can make love on a motor or in the elevator, without feeling uncomfortable.
They generally have a good control upon their erotic energy, the problem which may appear being, as well as in other fields of their lives, the excessive speed.
The women who have this astrological position are generally highly aware about their masculine side, having sometimes the tendency to behave like men in their attitude, speech and clothing.
They like challenges, having powerful reactions and they appreciate men endowed with a strong and well-shaped body, with a very masculine attitude.
They have the tendency to be domineering up to the moment when they meet a man stronger than them, when they give up to their behavior and become very devoted lovers.
MARS IN TAURUS
This planetary position is not beneficial for the Martian energy, the immobile Earth of the Taurus decreasing the Fire, which is Mars’s specific element.
The persons who have this position are endowed with a strong vitality, but they lack dynamism and sublimatory power. They are difficult to put to action, their fermity is weakened and their actions are rather motivated by the satisfaction of the basic instincts and of pragmatic aims.
The men who have Mars in Taurus have a good vitality and physical resistance, preferring to make love for long, being very attached to their lover’s body.
It can be pleasant to make love with this type of man, but a relationship with them is often constrictive, especially for the women who have subtler and more spiritual aspirations.
This position predisposes, both women and men to great possesivity and attachment, transforming after a while these persons in something stifling for their lovers.
Mars in Taurus makes them have a rather passive attitude at the beginning of the relationship, waiting to be wooed for long before acting. But you mustn’t forget the fact that, once decided, they have a lot of vitality and their actions will be constant and persistent.
When someone succeeds in making them give up their inertness, they are capable of great efforts so as to be with their beloved. If you know you are not serious in your intentions, you would rather not provoke them, because it is hard to stop them afterwards.
Their actions are also highly motivated by pleasure and by material security. They have a strong instinct of self-preservation and is hard (almost impossible) to convince them to do dangerous and original actions.
They prefer a more traditional conduct and they tend to choose a person to whom to be loyal and from whom they expect the same attitudes. They like to work in the middle of the nature and they can be keen on tourism, gardening, having ranches or activating in natural sciences (botany, zoology, anatomy, etc.).
This position also predisposes to actions motivated by excessive material possessions (houses, lands, expensive clothes, jewelries or other expensive objects). The main qualities of this position are stability, resistance and persistence in actions.
The women with this position are highly attached of the physical presence of their lovers and of the tangible manifestations of their feelings. Their lovers must act in order to show their feelings and bring them material proves of their love.
This type of women are less aware of their inner masculine side, which makes them so dependent of the physical presence of a man, and they have to pay attention to cultivate their masculine qualities, especially independence and detachment, unless they want to become stifling, passing from fidelity (which is a great quality of this position) to possesivity.
They need to realize that they have in a potential form all qualities for which they are longing so much when a man attracts them.
Let’s continue our study about how to begin a relationship with a person from a certain zodiacal sign. Here are two more signs, quite different from the previous.
Don’t you forget that these are only general tendencies. Do not apply them blindly! Sometime an obvious thing doesn’t work because people are different. So…
You can begin a relationship with a native of this sign in a very simple and natural way: communicating. Talk with him about no matter what subject, which proved to be interesting for him in that moment (but be attentive, Gemini means ‘eternal change’; don’t bore him, is lethal!)
Generally speaking he likes to talk about books or other way of communication, about every interesting subject you can imagine.
In order to impress this native you have to prove a certain all-round education and to display it in an interesting and captivating way. You have to bring new ideas, to be in a continuous movement (mentally speaking) and incite his curiosity.
He appreciates if you really are a specialist in a certain field (because he knows all sort of things from various fields, but few perfectly).
You don’t have to be stupid, boring, slow-witted, conventionalist, rigid, extremely serious or severe.
You can invite him to a book exhibition, to a bookstore, a technical stand or simply give him your e-mail address (by the way don’t forget to send him from time to time a short and interesting message).
You would rather not say to him your problems (especially if they imply physical effort don’t count on him…).
When you have a meeting or a date with him, be prepared, almost for sure he will be late. But he is charming, you can not be angry on him. He’s like a butterfly!
You should approach him in a very romantic way. Prepare an intimate dinner, with candle lights and a discrete, slow music.
You can also go out for a walk on a board of a river and, if possible, crossing a bridge or rowing to a boat under the moonlight.
You can write a poem especially for him, you can go with him in a park full of children or you can take him to a museum or to some romantic ruins.
You should pay attention to what he is telling to you and to the way prepared for your meeting (sometimes he can be so delicate that his efforts can pass unnoticed).
He feels very good if you ask for his advice. Let him know he has a unique place in your heart and in your life and that you want to share everything with him (but pay attention that this must be really true, because he is very empathetic and if he feels you are lying to him, he withdraws into himself and you can not approach him anymore).
He is so sensible that one single hurt can be forever.
If you are very independent, if you don’t care about your house and kids seem annoying to you, you would better chose another zodiacal sign, because Cancer is very fond about these.
Be sure that you pay enough time to him and that you don’t criticize his actions or defame his family.
Don’t remove the objects in his house from their places and don’t throw his ‘ old things ‘ that make him remember same past emotional events and above all don’t mock at his (deep) feelings!
Now we will continue the study of the twelve zodiacal signs and their specific modes of being. Here there are the main trends of the following two signs and the ways of beginning a relationship with people from these signs. And again don’t you forget they are only tendencies not established laws.
In order to draw the attention of a person born in this zodiacal sign, you should really admire him, be impressed by his personality and make sure you express your admiration in a very dignified way, meaning by that he can be impressed by an ode but not by a romantic poem which may seem to him a sort of denigration. You should treat him as a king both in his rights and in his value.
If you are mean, stingy or extremely extravagant you would rather not try to approach him.
Don’t expect from him to be very accessible, but if you try to approach him many times and he don’t even bother to answer you, you should rather let him alone, because he is not the type of person who appreciates your insistence and you risk to definitively estrange him from you.
It is a matter of prestige for him to be appreciated by persons whom he appreciate and proved to be independent and vertical.
You can’t ‘force’ him to appreciate you. If he does, you are very lucky because he will protect you, if not you rather retire in time, in a dignified way.
Let him hold the field and feel to have the main part in entourage, praise him and thank him many times he helps you, let him feel important and unique in your life and give him presents. But pay attention: prove him your generosity not your amount of money. The way you give him the present is very important: he should feel you give it with a great affection and admiration.
You would rather refrain from criticizing him, especially when he is in the middle of his admirers. Don’t try to monopolize the discussion and be friendly with his protegees.
You can invite him to a play or to the opera or in another place where he can manifest in his full splendor.
Pay attention not to hurt him in his dignity, listen to him when he says anything about his life. When talking to him you should prove a certain education, but pay attention not to be too emphatic or too proud of you.
You should prove you have confidence in yourself but not to such an extent that he became unimportant.
And by the way: don’t you ever take his place in any situation!
First of all you should prove to be a very discrete person, but at the same time intelligent; you should respect his intimacy, meaning by that not to try to approach her too easy and let her establish the distance from which you will interact.
If you try to become suddenly intimate with her, she could have the feeling of a violation of her privacy and a lack of decency of your part.
Be sure that you don’t force her to comment upon her feelings and emotions and keep the discussion to mental subjects.
Make sure also you don’t spoil her plans when making her a surprise because she doesn’t like being take by surprise.
She wants to know exactly the plan and to evaluate it. She is not the type who ‘throws herself’ into unknown and you must be very attentive if you are a more adventurous person.
She appreciates the order, the cleanness and can’t stand the other to use her things.
She is rather cool and mental and shows very rarely her feelings and then in a very reserved way, which doesn’t mean she is indifferent to your demands.
If you are a very romantic person, or you like surprises and want to live your life in a very intense rhythm, almost illogical, you are not her ideal of companion unless you want someone to bring you ‘on earth’ and strictly analyze your every detail through a looking glass.
You can invite her to a conference, to a book exhibition, you can ask for his opinion about a scientific theory or a literary work or to help you in some business affair.
You can count on her when evaluating a situation objectively or realizing a statistic study.
If you want to invite her to a dinner, be sure you choose a very clean restaurant with mannered stuff, but not extremely expensive because she is very fond of economy.
In the case above be also sure that the food are healthy and light because she has a bad digestion and an acute sense of diet.
With a native from this sign you must be attentive, reserved, objective and you must keep always your word, because Virgo is the clock of the Zodiac.
Kissing, cuddling and touching are an important part of lovemaking and couples that run their lives in this way use every opportunity to share such affection.
The slightest touch or pat can be worth a thousand words and a hug at just the right time makes words redundant. Sometimes these little intimacies simply say, “I love you”, yet on other occasions it is clear they are preludes to some sort of sexual activity. The couple in tune with each other know without saying, which is which, and use such teasing, even perhaps to some level of arousal, as a sort of work-up to intercourse later.
This kind of “lovemaking” then becomes like an extended foreplay both know will end in lovemaking some time in the near future.
If you run your intimate life in this way, lovemaking takes on a rather different level of importance. It is now no longer the be-all and end-all of the intimacies you share. This means that you will cope better with the ups and downs of your sexual appetites and, mutually attuned, detect sexual interest early and know how to act on it. Then, when you do have intercourse it is much more meaningful because it takes place against a background of loving interest in one another.
Not only are inequalities and variations in sexual appetite better coped with, but the occasional failure, rather than becoming a disaster, is kept in perspective because it is understood that the relationship has far more going for it than whether or not genital contact is always good.
Lovers of longstanding sometimes find they communicate without words; they seem to know what the other is thinking and feeling. Shared secrets help to make this a secret society. The woman may whisper to her man while they are on the dance floor, that she’s wearing his favourite underwear, for example. “Accidentally” touching your lover’s body in a certain place or in a particular way can have a devastating effect. Some couples can achieve the same impact with just a look.
Many couples have a private language, that they use even in front of others, as they tell one another about their feelings, arousal, or their anticipation of erotic things to come, which all add to the excitement.
All of this makes such a couple much less likely to suffer from jealousies because they flirt with each other and look to one another to answer their needs. They do not then see members of the opposite sex as threatening because they know that what they have between them is vastly more valuable than anything a quickie relationship could offer.
If all of this seems nothing more than a fantasy to you, there are ways of improving things: Start of by going back to courtship behaviour; many couples have never really courted – taking every opportunity to show love in different ways. Give one another presents for no reason. They don’t have to be expensive; it’s the thought that matters; kiss more; telephone to say, “I love you.” Leave love-notes around where they’ll be found by your lover; go out with one another as if it were your first date as teenagers. Really try to please one another as if you were just starting to date.
You may be surprised how much you’ve taken each other for granted over the years and how stale the caring and love for one another has become.
It is helpful in any loving relationship to remember to bear in mind the airline motto “we never forget you have a choice”. There are many couples that let things slip, perhaps year after year, becoming more and more lazy and thoughtless only to find when they go back to courtship they’ve all but forgotten how to deal with one another in this way. As with so many things in life practice makes perfect and over the weeks you’ll become more proficient at courting one another.
With luck and effort, the combination of making courtship a priority, and your increased experiences of life, will reap you a far richer harvest than would have been possible when you were first going out at the beginning of your relationship.
One of the most fruitful ways of making all this happen is to organise sensual holidays. A sensual holiday can last from an evening to a weekend. The main purpose is to get away from your normal day-to-day routine both in and out of bed and to really court one another.
You can prepare for the holiday beforehand to get best out of it. Ideas include: the uses of herbal aphrodisiacs such as ginseng, yohimbe; breakfast in bed; one sensual massage; lovemaking in an unusual place; a novel type or position of lovemaking you know your lover would like; or an evening devoted to your lover’s every whim. Each couple will have their own ideas as to what suits them, or they’ve always wanted to do.
Send your tokens some days before the holiday so your lover has time to prepare (if necessary). This also helps build up excited anticipation for the holiday. Remember, none of this need be expensive – the whole thing can take place at home with perhaps a special dinner or outing just for the two of you.
Whatever you do and wherever you do it, the main thing is to give yourselves over to one another totally and to aim to do things that please and delight.
Talk about it afterwards to see what worked well and what didn’t. It’s best to take it in turns to arrange such holidays so each lover has the opportunity to call the shots and decide what they want.
Sensual massage is a wonderful way of lovemaking without intercourse. This form of loving contact is often underestimated. There are few things a couple can experience together that allow them to be more in touch with themselves, and to communicate at every level than a loving, sensual massage. Whether or not this becomes an erotic massage is up to you, but even if one does lead to the other you still don’t have to end up having intercourse – you could stimulate each other or simply cuddle and kiss.
FULL BODY ALERT
Sight, sound, smell and taste are powerful aphrodisiacs – exploit them to the full.
Right from babyhood most of us use fewer of our senses than we might. In learning to please one another without intercourse it can be helpful to look at how each sense could be better used to serve lovemaking. Here are some ideas:
The power of aroma
Use perfume, perfumed soaps, scented oils for massage, burning joss sticks, flowers, room perfumes, and anything else (not all at once!) that helps enhance your sense of smell.
Remember, if you perfume yourself too heavily you’ll mask the natural odours that are such a turn-on for your lover.
Make sure you are clean and washed but not so squeaky clean your natural smells are obliterated. Learn, perhaps for the first time, how each part of your lover’s body smells.
The lover’s sound can be delicious as you make love. The little groans, sighs and moans that say “I love you” are all valuable cues to how things are going. With the lights off, learn to recognise how your lover’s sexual arousal cycle is progressing just by sound alone. Take a delight in the sounds of your bodies reacting with each other. Use beautiful music to accompany lovemaking.
Seeing it all
Take a delight in looking at tour lover going about their daily tasks. Really notice what it is you love about him or her. Compliment each other’s appearance and show appreciation for things that please you.
Acquiring the taste
Get to know how your lover tastes by licking all over. Taste mouths, faces, sweat, genital secretions and so on. This is intimately tied up with the smelling exercise since taste and smell are so closely interlinked.
Experiment with all kinds of tactile sensations using not only your bodies, but also foods, clothing, vibrators and so on.
GOOD LUCK !
We live our lives in a permanent rush. We keep inside “synthesis” of experiences that we had. We keep past loves, victories as well as defeats. But when we think of love everything is seen in a totally different light, more alive, special, and mysterious.
It is possible that we do not remember what we did three years ago or on January 7. But if it is the day when you saw him for the first time or the day that he told you he wanted you to be together, it is all coming back to you and you keep on smiling about some details that that day seemed to be amazing.
If you experienced a profound love story there is no doubt that you were beautiful and strong, that you thought that you had something special decided for you by your fate. After a while, after your love passed over your field of lust and you put aside whatever was needed to be put aside, you found yourself stronger, though apparently without something or somebody to lean on. And your love became more intense, more conscious, and even larger.
Love is constructive and creative; she unites and lifts you up. It’s a regenerating principle, a substance that turns everyone who’s blaze and lonely. Masterpieces, poems, inspiring music, they all have in their composition something – love. And so do we.
Love is real, as real as we are. It’s not a sterile concept but a magic of all our being. The moment that not even a blade is an accident, if someone loves you, you should take that into consideration. Because we exist for proving that there is love on Earth.
It’s the easiest thing to be transformed because of love. It is the only standard that everything else should be measured by. Shared love is the meaning of our existence, in infinity of shapes and shades.
Loving is the easiest thing to do because it is the most natural. You almost do not have to do anything else. Everyone needs to love even before he loves somebody or something. Sooner or later you will find someone to respond to your feeling.
Love makes people search for their soul mate; to make all their dreams come true. It makes you want to know yourself. If you feel that you do not love any more that is because you never did or that you stopped looking inside yourself, where there is still love. Love knows that what is inside your mind can be changed or forgotten, so lost. When love is the one that always makes you triumphant.
Love simply is. We are the ones who feel it through the person that we love, through the moments of happiness. It doesn’t need all those. Love does not rule and does not to be ruled. Love doesn’t ask, it gives. It’s a divine simplicity.
Love is the reflection of divine love on Earth. That is why it hasn’t boundaries or limits. If there is love, it is everywhere. And if there is love, it is forever.
Let’s meditate together on the profound love as Kahlil Gibran revealed it in his famous writing “Prophet”:
“When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips”
Artwork courtesy of and copyright by Daniel B. Holeman at Awaken Visions Galleries.
WHAT IS “SEXUAL CONTINENCE“?
It is described simply by means of the injunction to make love “without emitting semen”, or by the
recommendation that one should fix, hold, contain, stop, or stabilize one’s semen, or by speaking
about sex as being timeless or endless.
Because there is no accidental male sexual release in sexual continence, erotic fusion between
lovers is not forced to end. Therefore this type of lovemaking provides the unhurried sexual
context that allows lovers to become immersed in the endless immediate present moment, while their
bodies spontaneously move together as one.
WHY SHOULD I DO THIS?
Of course you will say: ” OK, I understand what SEXUAL CONTINENCE means, but why should I do this?
What does it offer me? “. Here follows the answer. Lovers ascend to an altered state of consciousness
during “endless” magical sex, not because there has been generated so much friction, tension, or
electricity, but because they learn to discover the other side of lovemaking – ecstasy.
Therefore mystical sexual continence does not primarily refer to a particular sexual duration,
but to the state of mind during sex, an attitude in which you learn to live only in the present
without worrying about anything else. Sexual feelings stream spontaneously and carry lovers
along together in the effortless flow of whatever is happening. Conversely, of course, mental
absorption and spontaneity become irrelevant if sex has already ended “prematurely”. And it is
impossible to be mentally absorbed in the present if one is chronically worried that lovemaking
will come to an abrupt end. Sexual continence, is then the background of mystical sex within
which one can have the time it takes to learn to let go of one’s convert self-talk commentary
and catch on to one’s ability to make love spontaneously, freely, and naturally.
One more remark: a common characteristic of human beings is the search for happiness. To experience the ecstasy is a
profund desire in all our hearts. SEXUAL CONTINENCE is a way to fulfil this desire.
THE HOW-TO OF SEXUAL CONTINENCE. FIRST STEP
First of all you have to understand that the whole process of lovemaking, up to the very moment of
emission is voluntary, entirely under the control of the mind, and can be stopped at any point.
Now you can start to make love, but remember these rules:
1.SLOW MOTION. Do whatever you want (foreplay, intercourse) but in slow motion. Kiss in slow
motion, touch in slow motion, thrust in slow motion, approach the whole experience so very
gradually that you don’t even begin to get close to the end.
2.SLOW BREATHING. Do whatever you want but breath in slow motion. If you lose the breathing control
you can be sure you lose sexual control. So, when you notice you start to breath fast you have to
slow down, breath easily, relax and wait until you calm down.
3.THREE SHALLOW AND ONE DEEP THRUST. Do whatever you want but practice three shallow and one deep
thrust and carry out the thrusts eight-one times as a set. If you feel that you become too
excited you should stop the thrusting motion immediately and wait until you calm down then resume
4.CONCENTRATION. Do whatever you want but keep your attention awake. Focus your attention on the
erotic sensation and when you feel that you are getting close to the preorgastic level stop the thrusting motion
immediately and focus your attention on the heart area.
In order to have multiple orgasms, without ejaculation, or, in other words, in order to open the way to erotic ecstasy, you should practice sexual continence during lovemaking. This implies that you develop both your capacity for control, and erotic sensitiveness.
The techniques to be presented here, in the “Men” section, are a great help in no longer having ejaculatory orgasms, which decrease and finally exhaust one’s “reserve” of sexual energy, as well as in opening your way to experiencing multiple orgasms.
These methods are efficient according to the perseverance with which you will practice them. There are men endowed with a greater erotic energy and sensibility, as well as with a greater capacity for mental control.
Such men will be able to experience multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms after a few weeks’ practice. Other men, whose erotic sensibility and mental control are less powerful, will probably need to practice for months or even years in order to get to this stage.
Consequently, remember that you may become a master only through practice.
In order to control your sexual energy and to practice sexual continence, you have to breathe as deeply and as relaxed as you can. All martial arts and yoga teachings indicate that breath is the key in controlling the body.
Breathing is generally an involuntary act, but it may just as well become a conscious act. In other words, we usually breathe without thinking about it, and also without changing in any way the natural rhythm of our breath. If we did that, if we made our breath more profound, we influence the cardiac rhythm.
For instance, after we run, we breathe rapidly and superficially, and consequently our cardiac rhythm reaches high levels. If we breathe slowly, the cardiac rhythm decreases.
To the extent to which lovemaking is concerned, a high rate of the cardiac rhythm usually indicates that you approach ejaculation. The conclusion comes naturally: the first step in controlling your ejaculation is controlling your breath.
Most of us breathe superficially, usually at the level of the thorax and clavicles (clavicular breathing), fact which leads to a poor oxygenation of the lungs.
For instance, the newborn babies breathe abdominally. If you watch a baby sleeping, you will notice that his belly moves with each breath he takes. The abdominal breathing fills our lungs with air, and allows us to replace the residual air, stagnating inside our lungs, with fresh air.
This is the healthiest way of breathing, but we lost this ability of breathing in a healthy manner because of stress and anxiety. This way of breathing is limited to the upper part of the chest, and therefore we are said to breathe only at the level of the thorax and clavicles.
When we are happy and we laugh, we breathe abdominally. The following exercise will show you how to breathe abdominally, as you did when you were quite young.
When you practice the techniques suggested here, it is required that you breathe in through your nose, as the air is filtered and warmed up at the passage through the nose. Keep in mind that whenever you breathe in through your mouth, you inhale unfiltered and cold air.
1. Sit on a chair, spine straight, feet on the floor, and head up.
2. Place your hands on the navel and relax the shoulders.
3. Inhale through the nose and feel how the lower part of the abdomen becomes distended with air, so that the navel is pushed forth. The diaphragm goes down.
4. Relax the chest while exhaling forcefully through the mouth, so that the lower part of your abdomen is pulled back, as if you wanted to push the navel towards the spine. You will also feel how your penis and testicles are somewhat drawn upwards.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 for 21 times.
A few minutes of daily abdominal breathing will teach your body to breathe deeply again, in a natural manner, even when you sleep. While making love, this capacity is essential to prevent ejaculation and to expand the erotic sensations in your whole body.
Once you no longer ejaculate, it is important that you carry on with your breathing exercises, as they will help you make the sexual energy circulate through your body and sublimate it into volitional, affectionate, mental energy.
The abdominal breathing massages the internal organs and the prostate, and it relieves the sensation of pressure most men experience for the first time when they do not ejaculate.
This sensation of pressure of tension in the genital area, which appears at all beginners in the practice of sexual continence, is caused by the stagnation of the sexual energy in the pelvic area. If the energy is not sublimated, it will lead to irritability, confusion, and edginess.
Therefore, we wish to make it clear that the mere transmutation of the sexual potential energy (the transformation of sperm into sexual energy, or in other words the retention of the sperm inside the body and its transformation in other substances) is not enough to experience multiple all-body orgasms.
This is the first step only. The next is the sublimation of this sexual energy, or in other words the actual flow of this energy through the subtle channel corresponding to the spine (you may even have unusual perceptions through the spine during this process) upwards.
Therefore, the abdominal breathing is a highly important technique, as it sets in motion the sexual energy and it guides it “through” the spine, resulting in its sublimation from the genital area and in the suppression of the above-mentioned state of irritability, confusion, etc.
Another method to determine this flow of the sexual energy is the practice of Hatha Yoga postures, which also have the effect of eliminating the energetic “nodes” and facilitating the circulation of the energy through the whole body.
If you have had troubles with abdominal breathing (as most Westerners do) you may practice the abdominal laughter as well.
What is abdominal laughter? It is the kind of laughter that makes the abdomen shake. It is the genuine laughter shared with your close friends. It is the laughter that makes you say you have stomach pain from laughing. This pain is due to the fact that we do not use these muscles very often.
Sit comfortably on a chair, spine straight and feet on the floor. Place your hands on the abdomen, and remember all the funniest moments of your life. When laughter begins, let it grasp your entire being, until you feel your stomach vibrating.
This kind of laughter is extremely helpful, as it relaxes the diaphragm, makes you breathe abdominally, and generate a great quantity of energy, which you may use later on.
Unfortunately most people when thinking about “making love” envisage one thing only – intimate, genital contact. In case of a harmonious couple, when the two know and love each other, “making love” is not strictly limited to the physical, immediate act. On the contrary, “making love” becomes a common state of mind and spirit, state that they may share even for more than one day or two. Such a couple reaches the point in which they are able to communicate rapidly and so profoundly that they may even give birth to ecstatic passion by means of a glance.
Kissing, passionate embracing and caressing are very important for a complete erotic fusion. Loving and caring couples who act this way in their intimate lives use every single opportunity to express thus their affection and adoration.
An affectionate touch or a tender caress is often much more important than thousands of words; we all had the practical experience of a passionate embrace at the right time which made words futile. All these amplify the mutual appreciation and, not at all surprisingly, the erotic aspect of their lives gains in importance and enthusiasm. Sometimes these intimate, apparently insignificant things can express a simple “I love you” or, other times, they are obviously and plainly prelude to an erotic act. Such a couple communicates even without words because the two lovers reach the point in which they are able to recognize precisely the meaning of each manifestation of the other, and are also able to use these manifestations spontaneously, as means of preparing for the awaited lovemaking.
LONG LASTING PRELUDE
This delicious way of initiating/engaging an erotic fusion becomes a longer and more profound anticipation of the act that will take place at a certain time in the near future.
Now you have the opportunity to see the difference for yourselves – and your partners as well, because this approach to sexuality will certainly generate beneficial changes in your lives, and these changes will not go on unrecognized. On the other hand, this approach endows you with the means of handling more practically and intelligently the ups and downs of sexual appetite and desire. You will also note that owing to the harmony established between the two partners, the erotic interest appears a lot sooner, together with the ability to act suitably. Thus, when the actual fusion occurs, the sexual intercourse will be more profound and successful because it will take place on the basis of a complete awakening of the partners’ erotic interest to each other.
Thus you may deal a lot easier with the variations in your sexual appetite, even with a potential failure viewed form a different perspective grounded on the opinion that the erotic relationship between two lovers may be sensual even if not physically sexual. It is interesting to note that the couple gets free of the tensions and stress due to the obsession with sex. Consequently, the partners experience an increase as regards erotic pleasure and even make love a longer period of time and more intensely.
In a steady and long-term relationship lovers can reach a non-verbal level of communication and sense the feelings and thoughts of their partner.
Revealing a secret to your partner will preserve and moreover, it will intensify the mystery and communion between you two.
For instance, the woman whispers into her lover’s ear, while dancing together, that she is wearing his favorite piece of lingerie. Touching “by accident” certain parts of his body can have an extraordinary effect. Some couples have such magic impression on each other through a look, plain and simple.
Another secret revealed here is connected to the use of a mysterious language of lovers, characteristic to each couple, in which they communicate even in public. Thus they have the possibility to share with each other their exact feelings, their erotic moods and expectations, feeling consequently a lot better and intimate.
These are the reasons why such couples are less predisposed to jealousy-sufferings. They flirt almost all the time, trying to respond the other’s mysterious love-calls.
They no longer consider others persons as a possible threat because they know at this point that all that they have together is worth a lot more than any superficial relationship.
If all these sound like a dream to you or appear too difficult to be acquired, you are given here some simple solutions that will empower you to improve your situation.
Start by going back to the way you behaved in the beginning of your relationship, when you were flirting naturally (most couples did not flirt and that’s why they hadn’t found any opportunity of expressing their love outside intercourse). Offer one another gifts, with no reason. There is no need for them to be expensive, what really matters are only your thoughts and feelings when you offer them.
Kiss her more. Call her at least once a day to tell her that you love her. Leave love-notes in unexpected places where you are sure she will find them. Date as if you were teenagers, and this was your first date. Don’t forget that there’s always another option, another possibility to choose.
There are many people in love but miss a lot of chances to be really happy for years. A lot of them realize that they forgot how to behave, and that only when they go back to the first stage of their relationship, they really felt happy when they were courting each other constantly. However, you know that practice makes you perfect and following these guidelines, you will soon see that you become an expert in the art of flirting and courtship.
Try, be patient, keep in mind your own experience of life and the results will soon amaze you.
A very simple and efficient method to obtain such wonderful results is to organize sensual vacations. Such “erotic mini-vacations” may last one night, a weekend or even longer. The main goal is to get out of the routine, regardless of the fact that you are in bed or out of it, to flirt with and really court your partner.
You can arrange this vacation in advance.
Thus you can talk about: an aphrodisiac breakfast in bed, a sensual massage, making love in unusual places, a new erotic position or any other kind of erotic fusion that you are certain your lover will fully enjoy. Or, why not, a whole night for making all your shared fantasies come true. Naturally, every couple has a specific idea about what is good for them, what suits them, what they had always loved to do.
It is preferable that you send these signs a couple of days before the event so that your partner is surprised, but not surpassed by the events. Acting this way will also permit your partner to anticipate and even fantasize about what is going to happen. It doesn’t have to be too expensive – you can put it all together in your house or you can have a special dinner or a picnic in two.
Whatever you do and wherever you are, what really matters is abandoning yourself completely to your partner and trying to do wonderful things together.
Then take the time to discuss what happened, describe in details your feelings, in order to see what went right and what didn’t. It would be best if each of you organizes these vacations in turns, so that each of you has the opportunity to choose, act and decide according to own preferences.
IT’S KISSING TIME!
Don’t miss any opportunity to learn to be a better kisser. Spend a lot of time practicing the art of kissing when you are turned on or whenever you feel horny. As a result of erotic massage, you may learn to caress your lover in an extremely erotic way. Grant yourself a whole night and announce your lover that you will not make love in an ordinary manner. Then get creative, use your imagination and be happy.
Some couples become highly aroused even if they do not intend to have sexual intercourse, while for other couples it is very hard, maybe out of the question. Of course you could end by touching each other or one of you could help the other have an orgasm but without ejaculation. Yet it is not necessary that the erotic fusion end with an orgasm with ejaculation for both of you, even if this was the way you used to make love. Oral excitation without ejaculation-orgasm is well known and also preferred by most people.
THE “REAL MAN” MYTH
It is regrettable that nowadays many men think strongly that any form of physical love must end with intercourse. Many women (maybe most of them) have repeatedly said that they would prefer more kisses and embraces before and during an intimate moment. Generally almost all men think that a “real man” has sex for hours and never plays like a teenager. This determines that a fairly large number of women who do not want an intimate relation yet refuse men and the kind of actions that could lead to lovemaking.
On the other hand, for many men touching and embracing are unfortunately considered as leading to sexual intercourse. They have become accustomed to this pattern of thinking to such a degree that they are unable to distinguish between the physical act and other forms of fusing with their beloved. A change in this pattern of thought requires a lot of time and effort. Such a man needs encouragement, help and taught to enjoy sensual, erotic experiences without intercourse. It will probably seem strange to him in the beginning, but in time he will become more self-assured, will-powered and virile.
WHY NOT SEX?
Why shouldn’t a couple want to have sex? There are a lot of reasons. Few of us want or can make love all the time or, to be more precise, exactly when the person we love wants to. This is why sex is not an optimal solution, applicable no matter when, which could help maintain intimacy and harmony of a couple.
Thus, in a long-term relationship, there are a lot of situations in which both partners would like to express their mutual love. For different reasons though, the intimate contact can not take place: during last months of pregnancy, immediately after birth, after a surgical procedure, in between stages of an illness etc. All these situations pled in favor of the method presented above, because even in such cases you will be able to make love to your beloved in the absence of the physical act itself.
For many loving, strong couples making love without sex plays a special part in day-to-day life, even if none of the previous situations exists. Acting like this, the couples bring into their lives the missing element and express their love in unusual, yet appealing manner, enriching their relationship.
But, as in the case of any other problem, this one also depends on the harmony and equilibrium between sex and erotic manifestations that exclude the physical contact. The goal should be to reach and maintain that ideal state in which both of you are exceptionally satisfied, fulfilled and happy about your love life.